Mrs. & Grandma ‘T’

G-ma T

My oldest grand-daughter recently asked who my role model was when I was growing up. Instantly, my mind went to celebrities: Cher looks a lot like me, but she’s older and wears costumes I wouldn’t dream of trying to pull off! Gloria Steinem comes to mind as one of the most influential women to pave the way for women to pursue whatever career they choose. That detail mattered a lot in terms of Affirmative Action, that not-so-subtle nudge from the Feds that enticed the Teamsters to hire me so many years ago when I couldn’t even hold credit in my own name. Roseanne Barr, came to mind, just because there was a time when she was blabbing the things that made me smile inside ~like a secret code that a lot of women thought, but, being taught proper behavior, wouldn’t say our loud. And then, there were the women who write: Again, Gloria Steinem came to mind, as she founded MS Magazine, and was both vocal and verbal in her promotion of human rights. But then, a lot of other writers came to mind, and not all of them are women.

And when my heard-speak turned to contemplations of men as role models, the list grew longer than I would have ever guessed it could. There was the Teamsters Union trainer, Michael Ellsworth, who spent patient hours teaching me to smoothly shift, not grind the gears. And there was my Gestalt Training Groups mentor, Dr. Mack Gift, whom I adore and respect perhaps more than anyone I’ve ever been blessed to learn from and work with. It is Mack, to whom I owe my inward journey and my intact and flourishing self-esteem. And, as a pure “coincidence” of the Universal Joker’s mystical timing, it is to Mack, that I owe the strength that got me through the death of my son.

There are others, males and females along the way, all who have positively impacted my life, and most importantly, my sense of self. But in the solar plexus, in that grand BS detector we all have, there are two women who stand out amidst the flowers: One is Dr. Elree Harris, my college English/Writing professor who wrote just one line on a transcript: “Keep writing, you’re good.” Her four words got me through many a rejection letter, and the scribble is still front and center on my bulletin board, prodding me, egging me on when I feel like kicking back and drinking wine instead of facing the pages. (Of course we did that too!) It is Elree, to whom I owe the credit for the four (to date) books I have published (and a couple of hang overs).

The truth is that, albeit at overlapping times, both Elree Harris and Mack Gift put the rebar in me before the cement was dried. To have experienced both of these special persons, I emit endless ripples of gratitude. There is no way I can begin to imagine who I would be without their individual influences.

But it is Mrs. ‘T’ who told the jokes of Roseanne, had the feminist perspective of Gloria Steinem, and who feared nothing and taught me courage, as there is nothing to fear. Even greater than this is to have been blessed to have Mrs. ‘T’ as my Grandma ‘T’. This is a gift for which I give thanks for every day.

What is it about Grandma ‘T’? She was never a celebrity. Nor was she one of those knitting-type grandmas. Well, actually, she did knit slippers that she sold at the Senior Citizens’ Highrise, where she lived, but that stereotype of a grey-haired granny knitting in her rocker isn’t Grandma ‘T’ as much as a sailor on leave after a long period at sea would be. Grandma was the life of the party, and she said what she thought.  She was “God-loving” but not “God-fearing,” and she loathed a hypocrite. She was a lover of good coffee, of creative cussing, and of having a pocketful of skeletons tucked deeply away. Men loved her. Most women didn’t trust her. And she had distinct ideas of right and wrong and equality, and cared nothing at all of what others thought of her.

The funny thing is, as I describe Mrs. ‘T’ I notice that I could be describing myself. She had more of an impact on me than I knew, until just now as I write this. It’s a little “aha” moment about the truth in projections. I’ll ponder that in my own time….

Happy birthday, Mrs. ‘T’. I miss you, Grandma, and I hope you’re still hanging with the fun ones.

Who influences you? Why? Do you own any of their traits as being your traits?

~With love and light and gratitude. xox

Download a printable Gestalt Prayer

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“Great minds….”

eleanor-roosevelt with quote“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s not difficult to imagine a conversation with the insightful, Eleanore Roosevelt; perhaps over camomile tea on the White House lawn…white linens appropriately starched ~Not too much; I’m surmising the woman was not all that rigid even in terms of linens.

The conversation would be about how we, together as a collective human force, can change things for the better. We would indeed discuss the global condition, but not as to whine about it; rather, to seek the solutions that come in collaboration and cooperation.

A little gossip, a bit of complaining about the insolence of co-workers or of the ignorance of family members, is more than a “little bit” harmful. At the least, gossip mongering is doing nothing to positively alter the course of the globe, or of the participants.

Eleanore’s words got me to thinking about what one thing I can do today to encourage growth and progress as opposed to squelching (with punitive thoughts, words, or actions) all the potential this day offers. Here is what I came up with: This post. This post is the beginning of the ripples in the Universal sea. My words have power, as do the words of everyone.

Message Stones

Our words have the power to incite or the power of insight.

We are free to choose if our words are bullets or soap boxes or wraps of verbal support. We decide, consciously or mindlessly, to use our words to build or destroy.  And perhaps the biggest thing to recognize is that our words are boomerangs. What we say will exactly return to cause the havoc or rewards which we fire off.

Our words are a direct reflection of who we are experiencing our inner self to be. In other words, our words are a direct projection of how we feel about our self inside. All communication is laced, if not built around the structures and foundations of self-esteem. With a weak self-image comes a weak self-confidence and an equally dis-jointed life. Now envision that low-level of self-worth on the stage of life. What do you suppose will flow from the mouth: inciting words or insightful words?

This is not to imply that every seemingly secure individual is spewing only warm-fuzzies and love. There are multitudes of folks pretending to be secure and insightful, but when we look beneath the layers, we clearly see the inner doubts and insecurities that are not all that well masked by brandishing thunderous rhetoric and doing nothing of progressive value. Often, words are used as deflectors: An attempt to ricochet the focus in another direction. Because here’s another truth: Hot air doesn’t hide the poor self-esteem. Poor self-esteem is the reason for all that hot air. When we look closely, we see that the hot air is only that: a bunch of hot air that is doing nothing to improve conditions or create insight. And yes, most definitely, in many cases all that rhetoric is only stirring the putrid ripples and inciting less-than productive communication.

For today, in this present moment of valuable non-renewable life, I send you love, love, love, and lightness to lift your whole/gestalt self. And with that love and light, I also added a link to the Journey to Wholeness Assessment confidential self-esteem self-evaluation. Take the assessment in the privacy of your own home, and if you like, come back and schedule a FREE consult to see if we’re a good fit for further services.

Wishing you love, and fulfillment, today and always,


PS~ Have you claimed your FREE Inspirational Gifts yet? This fabulous offer ends tomorrow!! Go get ‘em!


PSS ~ PLEASE forward the ripples of this post to all your friends so they too might enjoy these (very limited) offer of Inspired LIVING Secrets!

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Ten Inspiring Books by Women & for Women!

It may be April Fools Day, and I may not be able to stop grinning, but it’s NO JOKE!

Aspire Magazine just released its “Top 10 Inspiring Books” list–which includes MY BOOK, Escaping the Chrysalis!  Ten inspiring books written by women & for women; each dedicated to inspiring, empowering & supporting you along your journey! I am honored to be included in this circle of feminine wisdom along with Marianne Williamson, Dr. Judith Orloff, MD., Shann Vander Leek, Saskia Roell, and other spirit led women. All ten of these inspirational books are the perfect additions to your transformational and personal development library! Check it out:


Escaping the Chrysalis:

Escaping the Chrysalis is a reference book for life. It’s a comprehensive volume that can be read cover to cover, or each individual chapter is written as a stand alone, so you can start anywhere of interest. It is the book that promises to soon be the most dog-eared on your bookshelf!

Even if you don’t feel ready to invest in a comprehensive transformational program, get the life manual, Escaping the Chrysalis. It’s a great place to start the shift that will place you squarely on the track to success and fulfillment.

And if you are ready to take that next step on the journey, watch this YouTube video:

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Courage is the new pink 2

Does the charge of “too” stop you from expanding into further greatness and fulfillment? Are you held back and still playing small, reciting excuses of too big, too expensive, too scary, too weird, too anything?

As we begin stepping into our passionate purpose, others may not like it. Your friends, relatives, and acquaintances are used to you in a certain setting and role, and will strive to keep you “in your place.” Those familiar with you will fight, subconsciously and then consciously, to keep the status quo.

Playing small is, on the outside, easier than playing large. Of course, the truth is that playing small brings small or no rewards. Playing large, in your most lofty magnanimous position, brings rewards of equally grand proportion. And I’m not strictly referring to monetary gains, although irrefutable evidence shows the income expands with the size of the self-image. I’m talking about the tsunami of positive ripples that are created from great players as great thoughts and concepts are shared.

Stepping out from our familiar zone into the grand arena takes courage. That inner voice may chatter that it’s too vulnerable to let others see your authenticity; that it’s too scary to be in front of others -with all eyes affixed on you; that it’s too hard to fight against the opinions of those who prefer you stay small; that it’s simply too hard to change; that the risk means you might lose and that’s just too much to survive; that it’s too risky to start your own business and it takes far too much responsibility; that it’s too scary to trust you to make that payroll; that it’s too time consuming to be the boss; that it’s too hard on so many levels; that it takes too much education; that it’s too costly; that it’s too ______________ (fill in the blank with your own “too”). That it’s too late. That you’re too old….

The energetic charge of “too” is a fear-based energy. Fear keeps you stuck on the kids’ playground. “Too” is the frequency of fear. And you’re broadcasting that fear into the universal ethers and it is being answered, unless you’ve seen the fear and altered your fear into fuel to re-calibrate your life flight plan.

Remove the word “too” from your inner head speak. Refuse to hear it from others or from your scared inner small person. Refuse to absorb the external sources as they tell you where your small place is. Too is nothing but a word that keeps you small.

It’s NOT too late, too scary, too intimidating, too risky, too costly to step into your authentic whole passionate calling.

The real fear to address might better be the one that sees you on your death-bed, regretting that you were too paralyzed by fear to trust yourself to step into the brilliance of your calling.

It’s your calling. Answer it.


If you’re ready, experience the Journey to Wholeness.

(The price doubles on April 1!)

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Jan Deelstra (2)Authenticity is a trait that’s easily spotted. It’s your second skin. It’s also very attractive, in the sense that others are attracted to the genuineness of authenticity. It’s also apparently a rare and desirable characteristic.

The old adage, “Fake it till you make it,” has helped many people get through very challenging situations. Walking into new situations such as starting a new job, mingling with strangers, facilitating a workshop, or that number one fear of public speaking, can cause us to feel insecure.

In an attempt to neutralize our nervous energy, we forge ahead by portraying a forced persona of confidence. This kind of “faking it” can be a valuable tool and may help us to cope in uncertain situations. I prefer to see it as facing the fear and doing “it” anyway. It’s that NIKE add that says, “Just do it.”

But, here’s the thing we have to watch out for. Sometimes when we are feeling stressed, our nervous behaviors can suddenly show up as if they are on steroids. An example of this is a person who and is typically extroverted may over compensate, and is then perceived as loud and boisterous when in a stressful and unfamiliar situation. Others may get the impression that this person is arrogant, cocky, or generally inauthentic.  This may be completely untrue or not; regardless, if we don’t manage ourselves during these types of situations, we too could give the wrong impression of not being authentic or genuine.

3 Common Missteps People Make When Feeling Self-Conscious or Nervous

1. Making fun of yourself. Although it’s common to poke fun at ourselves, use this kind of humor sparingly. Self-deprecating humor is not self-esteem building behavior. Leave these jokes to the stand-up comedians. If you constantly downplay who you are, people will absolutely perceive you in the same way you represent yourself.  Remember, whatever you speak, think, or dream about, you ultimately bring about, so consistently speak approvingly of yourself, and since we know that what we are projecting is our self-perception, also speak kindly of others.

2. Bragging or dominating the spotlight. When speaking with others, do not dominate the conversation. Confident people share the spotlight by showing interest in other people. Listen. Really listen, with your whole attention on the person speaking. You’ll be astonished at the results of authentic communication and connections being created.

3. Gossiping. There’s an easy trick for breaking the nasty gossip habit. The next time you’re tempted to say something derogatory about someone, imagine the person standing next to you.  How would your words make that person feel? How would you feel if those words were directed at you? Your mother taught you, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it.” Your mother was right. And anyone who has ever played the game, Telephone, can attest to the fact that the facts are wrong by the second repeating of the gossip. Have some class and don’t gossip. And if you’re tempted, bring to your mind’s eye the image of Eleanore Roosevelt saying, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” Step consciously into the realm of “great minds.”

eleanor-roosevelt with quote


Next time you feel nervous and less than confident, pay special attention to your behaviors when fueled by nervous energy. And, if you catch yourself committing any of the missteps above, take a deep cleansing breath, and exhale most of your fears. Repeat the process three times, and reconnect with your authentic self – not with your “fake-it-til-you-make-it” self. It shows. You’ll be rewarded in kind for your rare and precious authenticity.


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Path You Are On

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson from A Return to Love .

It’s likely you’ve heard or read that quote by Marianne Williamson a half-dozen times or more. It’s not fresh news. It is, however, at the core of what this website, and I offer.

Do you know at a soul-engraved level that your light, and the light of every other soul walking the face of the Earth, is meant to shine brilliantly, without excuse for who you are being. With that said, how few of us are actually consciously choosing who we are being?

Have you ever asked yourself who you are in your perfect vision of you?
Have you ever even allowed yourself to dream about who you are in your limitless potential being-ness?
What physical response does your body offer when you dare to dream of you, improved? Does your heart race? Do your palms sweat? Does your head shake “no” to the thought? Do you find your breath stopping in your chest? Your body is telling you the truth. Are you paying attention? What’s it saying?

Have you ever asked yourself if you are truly happy? Perhaps you don’t need to ask; maybe it’s written all over your life.

Have you ever dared dream and then write the goals ~both short and long-term, that must be met in order to reach some predetermined destination? Do you even have a clearly defined destination?


If you are not happy with your current situation, who is to blame? Is there a layer of self-loathing that needs to be peeled back in order to expose what has kept happiness at bay? Does the idea of peeling back layers send you to cower beneath the blankets of your room? The layers are blankets. Those layers were placed, one atop the next, to protect you. But do you need all that armor now? Does it support you in this life?

What needs to change in order for you to prosper, excel, be fulfilled?

Where will you be in 6 months? 12 months? 3 years? 5 years? 10? What would YOU like to change? If not now, then when?

When you are not ready to take the first mindful step into your future, is it because you fear the unknown? My grandmother said, “…better the devil you know….” I disagree. The devils and demons we know can be erased through self-awareness and enhanced self-esteem. It’s only the habit of fear that keeps anyone stuck in the mire of the past. It’s facing the fear and doing it anyway that builds self-confidence one step at a time.

Courage is the new pink 2

If fear and self-loathing are setting you apart from a life of freedom to choose who you are, and live the life you decide to live, it’s time to decide* and take the next step. When you are ready, schedule an appointment with me to see if we’re a “good fit.” If not, we part friends, a little richer in spirit from the connection.

START by downloading this Confidential Self Esteem Assessment Questionnaire

Free Gestalt Prayer

~As always, with love and light and gratitude,


*”DECIDE” means to cut away, as in cut away other options. When you decide to change the path you’re on, you are cutting away other options, such as failure and boredom. Decide. It’s empowering.


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The Gift

It is truly my honor to write today, to offer you this special and rare opportunity to not only connect with some of the most transformational support workers on the globe, but to offer you LOADS of GIFTS, all FREE!

One hundred heart-centered, spirit-led light workers are giving you the free gifts to support you on your life journey.

“The Universe provides each of us with exactly what we need to HEAL, GROW, EVOLVE, TRANSFORM, CREATE and THRIVE in every area of our lives. The secret to Mastering the Art of Living TM lies in our ability to allow ourselves to receive the abundance of resources, wisdom and support all around us.”  ~Linda Joy

Millions around the globe are struggling with the after-effects of the latest recession; And yet millions have not mastered the art of allowing.

Ask yourself the following:

How good are you at the art of receiving?

Do you wince when offered a complement?

Are you first to grab the check at lunch?

How often are you first to say, “I’ve got this”?

When someone offers to provide assistance do you deny them the pleasure of assisting?

On a scale of 1-10 how evolved is your art of allowing?

When you register for the Inspired Living Giveaway you’ll discover supportive resources to:

·      support the truth of who you really are
·      reconnect with your divinity
·      help you get centered
·      create a success mind-set
·      open your heart to love and healing
·      transform your precious relationships
For almost three decades I have been providing gestalt tools for empowering clients around the globe. In that time span I can honestly say I have never been a part of something this rich, generous, and love-filled. This Inspired Living Giveaway is most likely a once in a lifetime opportunity to connect with specialists from around the planet, and taste the treats from the smorgasbord of their offerings. Feast til your heart and soul are content, but do it now, because these free offerings will be taken down soon.
And as a last point, I do encourage you to share this, because the more love and enlightenment we share, the more positive ripples enter the universe. And I personally want to thank you for your positive contribution to that ocean of love and soulful ripples. I’ve even included some links at the page bottom to make sharing easier.
~Always in love & light,



P.S. Share the Love! Copy, paste and share with the women in your community!

TWEET this to your friends: Woo Hoo! I just registered for the Inspired Living Giveaway! 100+ free gifts! Have you?

FACEBOOK this: I am so excited! The doors just opened to the Inspired Living Giveaway:  Resources for Mastering the Art of Living! 100+ transformational gifts from some amazing women!


Thank you, often!





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I’ve been sitting on a secret,

and now 

I finally have some very exciting news to share with you today!

Top secret folder file with slight grunge. Vector.

FINALLY, I can reveal the BIG SECRET!


The doors have just opened to the most expansive, heart-centered, soul-inspired collaborative life transforming gift giveaway EVER!

Mastering the Art of Living™ is dedicated to providing loads of inspirational resources to women all over the world.

Over 100 visionary mission-driven women, including me, have come together with
Aspire Magazine Publisher, Linda Joy, to offer a powerhouse of free transformational gifts
as part of the Inspired Living Giveaway: Resources for Mastering the Art of Living™.

From March 18th through April 13th you are invited to download over 100 high-value transformational resources.

Each select gift is dedicated to inspire, empower, and support you to master each and every area of your life.

You’ll discover thousands of dollars in complimentary resources from some of today’s leading experts, visionaries and new thought leaders, as well as up-and-coming movers and shakers in the fields of:

  • personal development
  • self-growth
  • self-care
  • spirituality
  • relationships
  • health & wellness
  • conscious business
  • parenting
  • success mind-set

Claim your transformational gifts today:

Are you struggling in any area of your life?  It doesn’t have to be that way.

As my friend and host Linda Joy shares…

“The Universe provides each of us with exactly what we need to HEAL, GROW, EVOLVE, TRANSFORM, CREATE and THRIVE in every area of our lives. The secret to Mastering the Art of Living ™ lies in our ability to allow ourselves to receive the abundance of resources, wisdom and support all around us.”

When you register for the Inspired Living Giveaway you’ll discover supportive resources to:

  • support the truth of who you really are
  • reconnect with your divinity
  • help you get centered
  • create a success mind-set
  • open your heart to love and healing
  • transform your precious relationships

You’ll discover thousands of dollars in complimentary resources including:  Content-rich e-courses, powerful guided meditations and supportive tools designed to fuel your personal growth.

I invite you to open your heart to receive the abundance of loving support and valuable resources offered in the Inspired Living Giveaway™.

Register Now!

~Much Love and Light,

xox  ~Jan

P.S. Share the Love! Copy, paste, and share with the women in your community!



Posted in Affiliate Information, Blessings in the Mire, Books By Jan Deelstra, Escaping the Chrysalis, From the Author, Kindred Affiliates, Self-Esteem, Self-Help, Success, The Flying Game and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , by with no comments yet.


Authenticity, it’s a word I’ve heard thrown around a LOT lately; Maybe because of an overdose of so-called reality shows that mire the airwaves in anything but authentic behaviors.

Authenticity is one of my top values, second in line behind freedom. In my estimation, it (authenticity) is also at the very core of: success; fulfillment; quality relationships; career success; self-acceptance, thus self-esteem; and pretty much any area of life I can come up with. And yet, authenticity is more often than not, either tossed aside in exchange for some concocted image or suffocated beneath layers of poor self-esteem.

And there it is: self-esteem. If you’ve been here before, you certainly have an inkling that this website is all about self-esteem.

If you’re ever curious about why and how self-esteem came to be the foundation of my business and of my books, I’ll be happy to share the dirty details of how it came to be. But really, the whys don’t matter. It is the what is that is Queen of this Universe.

We may be invested in why something is the way it is, and we may spend long hours wallowing in our belief that the whys matter. Whys tend to get in the way of moving ahead, of letting go of that which does not support the fulfillment, so why bother to swim in that pool when you could be spreading your wings and taking flight?


If owning your authentic voice is something which you are ready to embrace, and if you have come to the place where you are ready to release the past and own your wings, use the contact forms either at the tabs above  this page or at the right page bottom pop up. There is NO CHARGE for scheduling a short session to see if we’re a good fit. And if we’re not, refer to the Gestalt Prayer.

  • Have you taken the time to discover your top values?
  • Do you know your values effect everything you do?
  • Did you know you can download a tool for FREE to help you find your values? Values List

Disowning one’s authentic self is the ultimate giveaway of personal power. And it is deadly. Seeking external validation leaves anyone vulnerable to judgements from others. The authentic self feels secure from within, and not from the opinions of others. Owning the WHOLE/GESTALT of YOU is the most authentic, empowering step you can take to fulfillment.

Escaping the Chrysalis

Amazon: Escaping the Chrysalis

Buy the Life Manual.

(Click the Cover.)

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On My Knees

Why are humans walking around in pain?

Gestalt means whole, and results in near-miracles by focusing awareness on alignment of mind, body, spirit connectedness. Most humans are walking around in pain due primarily to feelings of isolation. Separation on a globe filled with over 7 BILLION people seems like an oxymoran, and yet here we are: Skyrocketing suicide and homicide rates; ridiculously high self-medication taking place; fractured familiesanger-management issues; a seemingly endless list of human sufferings.

There is a GAP so wide, that many people are bailing out. Consciously, or subconsciously, there are multiple means to ensuring one leave sooner than later. Consider the socially acceptable ways of committing suicide: Smoking; Drug Use; Sugar in-take: Poor diet; Poor sleep habits; Exposure to stress; Reckless driving; Poor hygiene; Sedentary lifestyle; Cutting; Alcohol Addiction; Death by cop.

Suicide and homicide are the same coin. Suicide is pain turned inward. Homicide is pain turned outward. Both are as a result of feeling isolated.

Bridge the gap and heal the wounded ‘self’

To ask the questions, and/or to present the problems with no answers or solutions would be irresponsible. And so, I offer this list of possibilities as a potential first steps in healing the pains inflicted by life events.

  • Journal. Write your feelings down and explore those emotions on paper.
  • Clarity comes often as a result of focusing on the feelings, so explore the feeling.
  • Stop drinking, smoking, and taking drugs. All of these suppress emotions, and all are depressant. You’re depressed enough without adding to it! STOP.
  • Be bigger than any addiction. Join a support group to verbalize your addiction even if it’s an addiction to stress and/or drama.
  • Read. Go to your community library and read about others who have overcome issues.
  • Create a life map*; a drawing of your past, your present, and your future in that order.
  • Focus on self-care including a healthy diet free of additives, preservatives, and refined sugars.
  • Get moving: Go for a walk in nature; Go for an artist’s date** in a museum; Walk around your block; JUST MOVE it!
  • Identify one specific message you learned as a child about who you are. Journal it.***
  • Download the START Module 1 and complete it.
  • Meditate every day for at least 15 minutes, sober. ANYONE can commit to 15 minutes! NO EXCUSES!
  • In your journal, express gratitude for at least 5 things daily, regardless of how tough the day has been.

Tools for Transformation

Click here to get some fantastic meditation MindBodySpirit Music

*Life Mapping is a technique used to determine the foundation of the problem, to identify where you are currently as a starting point, and to decide where exactly you wish to be in the future. As simple as it appears, Life Mapping is a very empowering tool.

** Artist’s Date: Schedule a standard date with yourself weekly, and go out to explore things that interest you. If you’re bored, you’re boring, so go out and feed that inner thirst for art, or music, or for whatever legal activity fills your soul. Go alone! You are exploring what it is to be you. Pay attention to how you feel as you are out exploring your interests. For more information on Artist’s Dates check out ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron. 

*** Internalized Messages & Hot-Seat. To learn more about Gestalt Hot-Seat work, you may wish to purchase Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation.

Blessings in the Mire  escaping-the-chrysalis-cover-tif

Both book covers are hyperlinked to Clicking on either cover will take you out of this site and into for purchase.

This blog post, of course, is not meant to diagnose or treat any dis-ease, disease, or illness. It would be impossible to do so in a post.

This post is designed to give you a fresh perspective which is increased self-awareness. It is my hope that you will take this self-awareness approach to consciously create a shift in your life. If you are in pain, you can release that pain and reach undreamed of goals. The key is to take that first step forward into your future. When you have taken the steps above, if you feel you would like to schedule a free discovery session to see if we’re a good fit for further facilitated growth, download the Confidential Self-Esteem Assessment Questionnaire by visiting our SERVICES PAGE, and then schedule the FREE Discovery Session through the form at the bottom right corner of this site. 

Life is too short to live it in pain. Let go, and let gestalt show you the life of your desires.

And since you’ve read to this point, here’s a FREE bonus for you:

Twelve Steps to Self-Esteem

Live long and thrive.


Posted in Addiction, Blessings in the Mire, Body, Books By Jan Deelstra, Escaping the Chrysalis, From the Author, Gestalt, Health & Wellness, Journaling, Mind, Self-Care, Suicide and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , by with no comments yet.


There is a distinction between a job and a career, and there is still a greater distance between those two words and the word calling. I live my calling. Each morning when my eyes peek open, there is perhaps a millisecond of time that elapses before I jump out of bed, grab a cup of coffee, and head to my calling. I know it’s a calling as opposed to a job or career because:

  • I can ‘work’ at my calling for hours upon hours and still be excited to give more.
  • I am passionate about my purpose.
  • I am fully present when I am in the arms of my passionate calling.
  • I get annoyed when others attempt to interrupt my flow (that NEVER happened when I had a job!)
  • I have to pry myself away to take vacations.
  • I get truly excited as I contemplate the next client, book idea, campaign and such.
  • I have, in some form or another, been practicing my calling all of my life.
  • I can find the (forgive the plug for my 1st book) Blessings in the Mire.
  • I see how all my experiences are incorporated into this calling.
  • I can no longer imagine myself doing anything else.
  • I love my little stacks of ideas and notes that I lovingly refer to as “genius piles” (and clutter is definitely against my nature!)
  • My mind goes a ba-zillion miles an hour when I consider how many positive ripples I can create before I die.
  • Almost everything on my Bucket List is connected to my calling.
  • Every book I read, every class and course I attend, is on subject with my calling.
  • Practicing my calling energizes, rather than deplete me.
  • I feel purposeful.
  • I am happy.

These are just a few of the affirming conditions that let me know I am on target. And quite frankly, it has not always been like this, at least not on the surface. But when I look back, even to early childhood, I see that all my experiences have led me to this decidedly divine place in my life. Regardless of how nefarious, of how confusing, of how rewarding, of how sobering, all my life events are the rungs that have brought me to this place. The transformation is a continual process. And in every way, every single day, it, and I, get better and better.

Are you living your calling? If so, that’s terrific! And if not, take a moment to envision what that looks and feels like. What do YOU look and feel like when you are living your calling? Where do you live? The word decide means to cut away other options; what did you have to cut away in order to be living your divine calling?Did you have to leave others behind in order to break out and into your true calling? What had to change for you to give yourself permission to be your authentic, full-winged self? What choices had to be made?  Are you happy? Who do you effect by living your calling? Are you proud to be here, living your calling? In six word, create a tag line that defines you as you are living your calling.

If you haven’t yet determined your authentic calling, I can only suggest that you take the time to sit quietly with your journal and thoughts. Think over your life experiences: Regardless of how painful or rewarding, what are the highlights of your life to date? Have you downloaded your FREE values form and identified the ONE VALUE that you would go to your death to defend? If not, get it and complete it. Without a clearly defined set of values, it’s much more difficult to define your dreams and set your craft in the direction of your chosen destination. As you sit with your clearly ascribed values, contemplate the ways in which your life experience has enriched you. I’ll be honest here, although I had written for several decades, it was not until the death of my son, that my hands finally went to the keyboard to write that first book. And as horrific as it was, the experience of such great loss brought me many rewards. It also inspired a non-profit dedicated to the prevention of adolescent suicide, the ripples of which are endless. This is not something I could have put on a vision board. It is not anything my radar would have foreseen. Nonetheless, the pieces all come together to create a stronger whole; a gestalt which is richer and wiser than before. Does this mean I am happy that my son died? Oh HELL no. I would give ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to have him here. I would cheerfully give my life for him to live. But that’s not the cards I have left to play, and so, it is the catalyst to my embracing the raw authenticity of who I am, and of who I am being. Death of a loved-one provides a level of consciousness about love that many will never be blessed to feel.  It also opened me to the rarity of time, and so I use mine more wisely now.

If you are looking for a place to START your transformation, follow the hyperlink to your FREE START  download. Yep, it’s free. Because I want everyone to spread his or her own wings by owning the whole/gestalt of the ‘self’. I wish for you, FREEDOM, as that is my top value; the one I will die to defend.

Blessings in the Mire Excerpt

Clicking the book cover takes you to Amazon to purchase.

Blessings in the Mire


Posted in Blessings in the Mire, Books By Jan Deelstra, Gestalt, Goal Setting, Journaling, Self-Help, Self-Love, Success and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , by with 4 comments.

Sofia Loren Jayne Mansfield

Gone are the days of women looking at other women with a turned-up-nose expression of smelling onions.

Gone are the days of women looking at other women as if other women are the competition, are the enemy.  No longer is the facial expression that of smelling dog poo on a shoe. Indeed, it is a time in her-story when women unite, and the Earth’s axis shifts with the feminine perspective; that perspective being based on nurturing, receptivity, love, and fairness. No longer is the paradigm one of ego, brute force, or competition. Words, not swords and bullets and missiles and bombs are the tools for bringing peace. Respect, not coercive manipulation, is the model from which the world blossoms into a whole, balanced, encouraged oneness.

Hey, it’s my dream and I can decide what it looks like, and it looks like an inviting place to be.

There is no fear in my utopia. In the love/fear equation, fear is at rest. There is acceptance without judgment, and there is wonder to excite the minds and compel thought and creativity. Every action and response comes from a place of centered loving oneness.

Books replace guns, and intelligence replaces apathy, and authenticity replaces artificiality. Intuition takes hand with thought.  Art and music are praised and nurtured, and the days of sitting with seats glued to chairs in linear fashion are replaced with mindful exploration in nature. Linear thinking is obsolete, and experiential learning is the means of education. Yoga and breathing are no longer looked upon as cultish; rather these are mainstream practices which each child has embraced since birth.

There is no fast food, neither are there poisons being injected into our food and water supply. Our diets are fresh and from the cycle of nature. Water is pure and unadulterated.

The result is whole/gestalt wellness, a condition of balance and of healthy circulation. Heart disease is wiped-out as there is no dis-ease. There is no hyper-tension as there is no tension. Focus is on wellness not on chasing symptoms with deadly chemicals crafted by multi-billion dollar institutions.

Men and women are not only not opposing each other, they embrace the magnificence of each other with full acceptance. Women are empowered and men are in touch with their receptivity and openness. Both men and women are balanced and whole, experiencing the power in vulnerability.

Power of Vulnerability

Yes, this is my perfect paradigm, where everyone really is created equally, and there is never a thought as to “differences,” only recognition of each’s right to transform into full-winged potential.

Has this always been my perspective on the human race? No sirree! During the period when I was a young woman working as a Teamster truck driver, I got on famously with the boys. Well, that is if we set aside little nagging prickles like sexual harassment, open hostility from those (male and female) who believed women should NOT be behind the wheel of a ‘big-rig’, and that truck driving was a ‘man’s domain’, and believed that I needed to get home and leave the jobs to those men because “those men had families to support.” Well guess what? I too had a family to support. I was a single mother of three, and driving fed my kids.

But I was accepting of the challenges. I realized early on that I was a pioneer; a scout clearing the brush ahead of the masses of women who would follow my lead. And somehow, regardless of the size of the challenges and even with threats made on my life, I still preferred the company of men. I thought I would never work with “malicious bitches” because in my indoctrination, women were not to be trusted. Oh I may have had one or two female friends, but it was men I spent my time with, both on and off the job.

Women, I surmised, were too moody, too hard to handle, were difficult, and competitive, and not to be trusted. And did I mention, hormonal? Those hormones made women predictably unpredictable and hysterical ~and not in the funny way; and who needs that? Nope, I’ll stick with working in that “traditional men’s field” and leave all that drama to others, I thought.

And then, fast forward a decade and I am co-facilitating self-awareness groups based on gestalt theory, the brain child of Fritz and Laura Perls. It was a most rewarding career where each month a group of between twelve and twenty women came together and miracle transformation took place. One by one, each participant blossomed into her divine wholeness; Group by group, positive ripples were emitted into the universal pool, shifting the paradigm month by month. And month after month, I fell deeply completely in love with the women graduates as collectively, each came into the brilliant light of her authentic self.

Collectively, women had been systematically taught to dis-own the parts of the ‘self’ which allow for such behaviors as thinking, expressing emotions typically assigned to male behavior (other than hysteria ~a word that comes from hyster and which is clearly offensive and sexist), owning personal power, and generally being worthy of recognition.

During the gestalt process, each woman learns to embrace her power, to own her voice, to effectively communicate her needs and desires, and to further trust her intuition as the guide to her continued expression of feminine energy.

The beauty is in the transformation. And the transformation came, and still comes from the synergy of the group setting where each woman is free to be. She is given permission, and learns to give herself permission to decide for herself what to own and what to discard. By deciding, the branches that no longer support her on the journey to limitless expression are cut away. That which hinders is left behind, as are those who hinder. Anything or anyone stifling her potential are not manipulated into coming along, into changing, rather they are seen as having a different dharma, and a different path to follow. And that’s all fine. In fact, it’s perfect.

Women are nurturing of each other, and empathize. It is thru the experience that each woman transforms into her whole/gestalt potential. And the friendships forged from sharing such profound experiences are permanent.

Gestalt is whole. And there is nothing more beautiful than a woman or man coming into her or his wholeness, unless that is, it is an entire group of women or men blossoming like flowers in an unbridled garden.

yin yang

Won’t you come and play in the garden?

You can start by downloading some freebies. Yep, they’re FREE. Just START.

And if you want a jump-start, click on the book cover below and you’ll be taken out of this page and into AMAZON.COM to purchase Escaping the Chrysalis, the life manual we wish our parents had read.


And if you’re ready to leave the blocks to success behind, if you are ready to embrace your Journey to Wholeness, click HERE.

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You probably catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror several times each day. But how often do you actually stop and take a close look?
Oh sure, you notice if your pants are the ‘right’ length, or if your shirt is too wrinkled, or if your sweat is showing. You probably notice each new wrinkle and pimple within moments of their arrival. You may even get close up as you pick and pluck. But how often do you really stop to see the whole you in that mirror?

I’ve seriously had group participants run from the room, screaming in pain, rather than look at that face in the mirror. Their face. The one they live with day after day.


I do not chase them. Because even with the running and screaming, there is a little awakening taking place. The internal shift has begun. And many times, they return; when they are ready, they come and face the inner demons and then release those demons (who turn out to be mostly just kid stuff, after all),  and then they go on to blossom into spectacular splendor.

I’m the first to admit that it’s tough sometimes, to really make eye contact with the ‘self’ because we are seeing that ‘self’ with all the filters, biases, and guilt of our entire life to date. And admittedly, courage is a rare commodity, but when that courage is mustered and the face is…well, faced, there is a magnificent transformation that takes place.

Here’s the thing: Your personal power is wrapped up nicely in the ability to see you.

Yep. Self-Awareness: It’s the new black.


Today, I encourage you to take a fifteen-minute time out from life.

Go to the bathroom, lock the door, and gaze lovingly into your own eyes. And if not gazing lovingly, at least make it a point to make extended eye contact. Give yourself permission to see all of you.

As you look, really see with your entire whole/gestalt self: How do you feel? Are you finding it difficult or easy to make eye contact with you? Do you use your eyes as deflectors? Is so, what are you deflecting? What do you not want to see? What are your hands doing? Are your fists clenched or open? Are your palms dry or moist? “See” your heart: Is it beating rapidly or is it a typical rate? Is your jaw slack or tense? How’s your overall posture? Are you standing straight and tall or hunched with the weight of your world? Can you see your sense of humor represented by your whole/gestalt reflection? Where do you wear your battle scars?

Before you leave that mirror, name five things that you love and admire about your reflection. Pay attention to how you’re feeling as you seek out those five adorations. Just notice. This is not a self-abuse experience. This is a self-awareness experience.

Notice without placing judgments on the experience.

Notice: Is it easy to come up with your list of five attributes? Is it challenging? How does it feel to contemplate your greatness? Are you still making eye contact?

Are you breathing? Take a deep breath now, and exhale fully through your open mouth; let out some of the stress.

Consciously acknowledging your feelings, physically and emotionally, removes much of the charge and lessens the physiology. In other words, when you notice yourself feeling nervous in any given situation, taking note of the nervousness is like a release valve that allows some pressure to escape. Noticing is the place to take stock, and adjust the wings when necessary to take you to your chosen destination. (You do have a chosen destination, right?? If not, skip to the bottom and fill out the form asap! This is urgent! You must have a decided plan for your destination. Now. Right now.)

Self-awareness is the start of self-fulfillment.


Are you ready to take that first step into your Divine Wholeness? If so, or if you’re on the fence about blossoming into your full-winged splendor, fill out this form. A Confidential Self-Esteem Assessment will arrive in your email box, allowing you to answer the questions in the privacy of your own home. Even if you don’t return the assessment, rumor has it that the act of answering the questions creates a shift in awareness.  If you do return the assessment, you will receive, upon request, a Discovery Session where we ‘meet’ on the phone to determine if we’re a good fit. Not everyone will be accepted. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s perfect.

Fill out the form below to receive your Confidential Self-Esteem Assessment and to subscribe to the Gestalt G~Zine. PLEASE NOTE: We’ve had some challenges with our autoresponders delivering content. If you enter your information in the form below and do not receive your confidential self-esteem assessment questionnaire after a few minutes, please send an email to: with “assessment” in the subject line.

Click here to receive Frit Perl’s Gestalt Prayer: Gestalt Prayer

To learn more:

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Escaping the Chrysalis

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Namaste. I truly bow to, and honor the greatness of you, gestalt/whole.

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Click the hyperlink to be considered for acceptance into the 30 day Journey to Wholeness program.

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It seems as if everyone is looking outside of themselves for the answers to their personal problems and challenges, when the better option is to develop self-awareness and bolster self-esteem. The concept of looking outside for the answers in akin to approaching a stranger on the street corner and asking him to fix your broken zipper. In other words: It’s absurd.

And yet the truth is, folks like me make a lot of money by facilitating the process of taking participants out of pain and into potential by providing self-esteem tools and techniques. And that is a very different angle to the ask-a-stranger means of healing oneself from the accumulated pains of life. It’s also quite different from asking a friend or loved-one for the answers to your problems. Friends and relatives are often wrong as they have their own projections that blur their vision and many friendships are quickly lost when an ego investment gets in the way.

What is meant by “ego investment”?

The friend and/or loved-one takes it personally when you don’t do as they say. The friend’s ego is invested in whether or not you do as they say (and on their time-table, by the way). If you do as they suggest and it all works out, the friend can feel like your savior. If you do as your friend suggests and it doesn’t work out, there may be some resentments on either side. If you don’t do as you were advised by the friend, the friend’s bruised ego gets in the way of your transformative process. None of these options can be good for the friendship.

Here today, I offer you a gift. Today I give you the key to the universe and to releasing all your pain; I give you the key that leads to enhanced self-esteem, and to your transformation into your full-winged potential.
Are you ready? Here it is, the key to life:

key to life

Your best answers are inside.

Why? How could this claim that your best answers are inside possibly be true? Here’s the short list of reasons that will back up my claim:

 No one knows you like you know you.

Yep. Nobody knows you like you know you.

Albert Einstein said something to the effect of we can’t fix what’s broken using the same mindset with which the problem was created. This is true; however, we can shift the mindset. And we can bolster your self-esteem by utilizing highly effective, multiple gestalt-based self-esteem building tools such as self-awareness techniques that create rapid results.

That’s what I am here to do. I facilitate transformational shifts. And I don’t take it personally if you don’t invest in yourself. Our friendship doesn’t suffer when you don’t take action.

I am here to help YOU shift, if that is what you choose.

Your transformation is all that is needed to bring you out of the pain you are in. When you are ready to consciously begin the process of leaving the pain and traveling to the potential, send an email to ; and then, a confidential self-esteem assessment will arrive in your email box. At your leisure, complete the questionnaire. Even if you never return it, you may receive a positive transformational shift simply as a result of having taken time to answer the questions. When you are ready…. (Now, is a good time to take that first, free, courageous step into your wholeness.)

Gestalt means whole, and so too, are you whole and complete.

You simply need to re-member the parts into a cohesive whole empowered you.

*How much is an investment into you, into your transformational life worth to you?

*Where will you be in three months if nothing changes?

*Where will you be in one year if nothing changes?

*Where will you be in five years if nothing changes?

*Where, in your dream of dreams, do you desire to be?

*If not now, then when will you decide that you are worth investing in?

*If you’re telling yourself that you “can’t afford it,” what fear is really being masked by that claim?

*What can you immediately do to start the process towards your fulfilment?

Might I suggest that simply by reading to this point, your progressive shift in consciousness has begun. And the next step is to simply shoot off an email and request your Confidential Self-Esteem Assessment. Even if you never return it, answer the questions and contemplate you. You deserve to thrive. And to make it super-duper no-brainer simple to START the process, not only am I offering the Confidential Self-Esteem Assessment, I am also giving away a FREE Module One of the START Program. COMPLETELY FREE. Go to the START PAGE and claim your FREE GIFT! The START program is the place to START to build your self-esteem. But before you do that, do yourself a HUGE favor and send for the Confidential Self-Esteem Assessment. Send an email request to . Together, these two FREE self-esteem building tools can get you started on your journey to limitless potential.

You deserve to live your best whole/gestalt life.



Posted in Self-Esteem, Self-Help, Self-Love, Success and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , by with no comments yet.


The Gift

  • What pain are you in?
  • What outcome would you hope for?
  • What’s that outcome worth?
  • Are you ready?
  • If not, what will it take to get you ready to transform into your full-winged potential?

Journey to Wholeness is a very limited elite experience for no more than twelve individuals per quarter. It consists of a personal assessment to determine the “fit” into the program, and if accepted, includes four intensive weeks of transformational facilitation. If you are ready to transform into the life you were born to experience, the first step is to fill out an assessment.

To request an ASSESSMENT Questionnaire for consideration of entry into the Journey to Wholeness program fill in the form and the assessment link will be emailed to you:

The Journey to Wholeness is a fast paced course which is not open to everyone. Only 4 participants will be allowed into the individualized 4 week program at any given time. To request a copy of the curriculum, send your request by filling in the above form, and under the “comments” section write “request curriculum.”

The standard cost for Journey to Wholeness is $997. The March Special is for $497 with the caveat that participants agree to provide a testimonial at course end.

Use the form above to request further information.

To secure your place now, click this PayPal Button:

If for any reason you are not accepted into the Journey to Wholeness 4 week intensive, a full refund will be made.

Please note: The Confidential Self-Esteem Assessment is FREE of charge, and is a great tool to fill out regardless of whether you enter into the Journey to Wholeness 4 Week Intensive. By filling in the above form, you will be provided the assessment to complete at your leisure. Additionally, there will be a FREE teleseminar on March 1, 10:00 am PT.

Register for teleseminar HERE: Journey to Wholeness Teleseminar

eagle in flight

cover-flying escaping-the-chrysalis-cover-tif

Journey to Wholeness is an entry-level four-week course into the immersion of self-esteem building.


Our time, both yours and mine, is finite. Time is a non-renewable commodity. There is only so much to go around, and when it’s gone, there’s no way to get it back; we cannot simply turn the hourglass upside down and expect more time. With that in mind, forgive the brutal honesty of this assertive statement that not everyone will qualify. To ensure my clients receive all they deserve, I commit to only four individuals per month. Generally the cost for my time is just under 1K per month for 3 phone calls and four weeks worth of home study.  This allows me time for hosting teleseminars, facilitating groups, conducting one-on-one counseling, and crafting fresh materials for you. It also allows me time to interact and network and continue the pursuit of other studies in higher education, and finally, it allows me quality precious time with my loved-ones, as well as time for self-care, and most certainly, for writing new books.

Here’s the deal:

  • I will never hunt for clients.
  • I will never hound anyone to join any of our many faceted events.
  • I will pretty much always be here for you when I’m needed.
  • My premise is that given the tools, you’re responsible for your magnificent outcome.
  • Moving from PAIN to POTENTIAL is not only POSSIBLE, it’s MOST PROBABLE.
  • Moving from PAIN to POTENTIAL is a rapid permanent process.
  • Once you’ve transformed that bell will not un-ring.

To request your FREE Confidential Self-Esteem assessment Questionnaire for consideration of entry into the Journey to Wholeness program fill in the form:

Do fill out the form, and when the assessment arrives in your mailbox, download and print out the form. Then fill it out. Even if you never return the completed form, do download it and answer the questions in the privacy of your own home.

It’s been reported that huge transformational shifts take place just as a result of answering the questions.

  • If not now, then when?
  • If you do what you’re doing and nothing changes, where will you be in three months? five years? ten years?
  • How long will you remain in the pain?
  • What must happen to get you to take the first step towards your limitless potential?
  • Take a page from Nike, and Just Do It!


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jan-deelstra-2Let’s face it: FEW folks know what “gestalt” is, so how could they possibly know how impactful it is?

With that in mind, I decided to make a list of some of the “YOU” benefits of Gestalt.

First, “gestalt” means “whole.” It follows then, that each of us were born whole and complete, and were then systematically taught, conditioned, indoctrinated, culturally immersed, and otherwise melded to fit certain standards and cultural molds, and to subscribe to a determined set of social mores.

We bought into the biases of institutions and families, and of the political culture in which we were born. In other words, we are each a product of our chance of birth. And have no doubt, it was chance.

Gestalt starts at the beginning. By re-visiting the perfection of your human organism at birth, we can observe that infants get their needs met without manipulating or posturing. A baby cries when he/she is hungry, cold, wet, messy, in need of love, etc. An infant doesn’t look around the room to see how he/she compares to others; a child doesn’t really care if his/her socks are pink or blue or match their diaper; you’ll never hear a baby wondering if her/his hair style is on-trend.

And contrary to some of the recent televised pageants, babies don’t need lip gloss and rouge to look their best.

Babies, before they are tainted by society, family, and peers, are the most authentic creatures on the planet. We can learn a LOT by watching them.

Power of Vulnerability

For the next 30 days, rather than finding an infant to emulate, decide instead to become acutely self-aware. Notice everything about you. Hear each word, and note the cadence of every sentence you utter; pay attention to how you feel physically and emotionally under any situation; notice how you use your eyes when you pass someone in the supermarket; feel what happens to your palms, heartbeat, breath when you are among strangers, and then again when you are among loved-ones; notice you spectral mood swings and the energy you bring into the room at any given time.

Do not judge. Just pay attention to how you feel, physically and emotionally.

Thirty days.


When you look in the bathroom mirror each morning, notice if it is awkward to make eye contact with yourself. Do you look away? Do you use your eyes to deflect whatever you don’t want to see?
I’ve had clients run (yes, literally) screaming from the room rather than look themselves in the mirror.

LOOK. Look and really see. Give yourself permission to observe your whole self as you are being reflected back.

And when you are ready, make arrangements for a Discovery Consultation. It’s FREE. And it’s (generally speaking), painless.

Here’s that list of “YOU” benefits of Gestalt:

• Skyrocket your self-esteem because self-esteem affects EVERY FACET of YOUR life.
• Communicate effectively and assertively to get your needs met and not be victimized.
• Release internal blocks to success and make-way for fulfillment.
• Heal your inner child and forgive your trespassers and more importantly, forgive YOU.
• Attract opportunities and be secure enough to take advantage when they come around.
• Achieve goals that you really desire.
• Attain your goal weight and health and balance.
• Attract healthy balanced relationships with your mirror reflection.
• Release victim behavior and never again be at the mercy of another.
• Let go of scarcity mentality and prosper because it is your optimal state of being.
• Interpret dreams for valuable content and use that information to your benefit.
• Define your life on your terms. Period.
• Own your personal power, because dis-owning it is ugly and ineffective.
• Allow the flow of wealth and abundance and circulate the energies.   freedom

Remember, “Gestalt” means “whole” and so are you, once you re-claim the disowned portions of your whole self.

The outcome being offered here is FREEDOM. Isn’t that really what we’re all seeking?

Humans are meant to live in homeostasis (balance). Gestalt gives you to tools and techniques to thrive in whole aligned balance of mind, body, and spirit.

Interact with gestalt practitioner and transformational author, Jan Deelstra at because you deserve to live the best life possible!

Subscribe to the monthly Gestalt Ezine ~G-Zine and follow our blog posts at: Lots of valuable content is broadcast multiple times each month, plus, by following, you’ll be privy to all the exciting opportunities for transformative living that come available.

To receive your Confidential Self-Esteem Assessment, fill in the form below:

(And if you’re interested in a FREE Discovery Session to see if we’re a good fit, use this form and in the ‘COMMENT’ box write Discover Me. Be sure to supply a viable email address and phone number ~which will NEVER be shared.)

The assessment is a questionnaire of just over 50 questions, and can be answered in the comfort of your own home, at your leisure. And even if you don’t return the questionnaire, do sign up to receive the download link. Many have professed great consciousness shifts simply for having answered the questions.

Don’t doubt that your transformation can be rapid and effective and also be the chasm between then and now. YOU can shift your life in real time, and you don’t need to invest thousands of hours into counseling. I’ve gone before you, and I am a product of what gestalt techniques can do.

Self-awareness means consciously choosing to create the life of one’s desires.

What do you desire?

What are you passionate about?

What would you choose?

I hand you the keys to life. When you are ready to open that door to all things wonderful, fill out the form and embrace your whole/gestalt self.

key to life

If you’re still here, I invite you to download this AWAKEN JOURNAL and see where it leads.

It’s a $9.99 value, which may be priceless to you. And it’s FREE today.  AWAKEN Journal



Remember, there’s no obligation to return the questionnaire. All that is asked of you is that you take the time to mindfully respond to the questions.

~Love & Light.

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5d6d712c016a53860081b69412c96b4fI’ll share some personal notes here, and tell you that I have not always been at the top of the mountain. My life, as is true with most humans, has had pits and hills, and has been laden with what I like to now call, “learning experiences.” We’ve all had them, the experiences that at the time seemed so un-survivable, or that threatened to de-rail us completely. Maybe you were de-railed for a time. Maybe you still are reeling from an experience that left you wondering “What the heck was that about?” Or maybe you’ve chosen to not look for the lesson in the experience, because, you surmise, it would be too painful to look back or re-live. Instead, under the guise of survival, you look the other way.

Life is experiential. And when we live in acute self-awareness of the experience, of whatever experience we are in, as a whole, we are happier and more authentic. And the raw truth is, denial never propelled anyone to fulfillment. Just sayin’….

That word, “authentic” has been used a LOT lately. I’ve heard self-professed gurus spewing the importance of being authentic, even as those same folks are being inauthentic. Regardless of how authentic or inauthentic the guru, the message is a pure truth:

Living in one’s true authenticity means never apologizing for your life


being “authentic” is to not live small.

If you are done living “small” I can show you the path to the top of that mountain, for I have gone before you. And believe me, that overall experience has given me many life lessons and much wisdom to share.

Marianne Williamson says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure,” and I believe it.
Are you thru playing small? Are you thru with pretending that you are less than “powerful beyond measure”?

Today, take five or ten moments in a quiet place with a pad of paper and pen (or more perfectly with your journal), and answer this question:

What outcome to my life’s challenges would I like to achieve?

Really sit with this. Breathe deeply in through your nose and exhale fully out through your open mouth. Repeat this breath exercise three times to relax into this authentic moment of truth. Allow the question to swirl around the space in your mind, and then settle into your solar plexus: What outcome to my life’s challenges would I like to achieve? Be aware of your body now. Feel the question in your body: What outcome to my life’s challenges would I like to achieve? What do you feel physically at this moment while you entertain the question? What outcome to my life’s challenges would I like to achieve? Stay present with the physicality of this.

  • Notice your heart’s beat (Rapid or slow/normal)
  • Notice your palms (Dry or sweaty?)
  • Notice your body: do you experience pain anywhere?
  • Notice your breathing (Shallow or deep/relaxed)
  • Notice your face (Tight or relaxed?)
  • Notice your spine.
  • Notice your forehead.
  • Notice your jaw.

Without judgment, just notice. Simply be with your body. Let it/you speak to you with the physical senses. Be aware. Be very self-aware.

Place your focus on your crown chakra, at the top of your head. Notice the top of your head. Now consciously relax the top of your head. Good. Now, move consciously down to your face, and relax your forehead, and then relax your mouth and jaw. Great. Focus now on your neck. Relax your neck. When your neck is loosened, move on to your shoulders and spine. Notice your shoulders and spine, and consciously relax them. Move your awareness to your heart. Send love to your heart. See your heart being fed a supply of pink light energy, and see your heart pump that pink light energy throughout your veins. Now place your focus onto your solar plexus, at the space around your umbilical cord scar. Envision an umbillical cord connected to the universal flow of light energy. See, with your mind’s eye, the energy flowing into you, coursing throughout your physical and light bodies, and moving stagnant energies. This flow releases any stuck inner blocks to your success and fulfillment. Feel the flow of universal life blood energy. You are healing emotionally and physically as this source energy circulates, purifies and rejuvenates.

Ask the question: What outcome to my life’s challenges would I like to achieve?

Answer the question. You have your own best answers. Trust you, and answer the question. LISTEN. Hear your own inner wisdom. Write down the answer.

That may sound odd coming from a life consultant. But refer to paragraph one where I clearly state there have been experiences and lessons learned. And it may seem counterintuitive for me to tell you that you, not I, have your best answers. Afterall, that sounds like I’m turning away business. And business is my livelihood.

I’m not worried.

Here’s why I’m not worried about turning away business: I KNOW that once you’ve learned the Gestalt Techniques that I can teach you, you will learn to trust you to give you the best answer. When that happens, you will, just as thousands of others have, refer your best friend, lover, co-worker, etc. When you experience the outcome to your life’s challenges that you would like to achieve, others will recognize the shift. They will ask you for the secret of your transformation, and you will turn them on to Gestalt Techniques, and to me.

You see, together, we will explore the outcome that you really desire. Just guessing here, but I’ll wager that what you’re seeking is an emotion.

  • Maybe you want to feel at peace.
  • Perhaps freedom is the challenge you’re seeking to experience.
  • Maybe it’s love that seems to be the far away goal.

It could be a better career, and that’s not an emotion. There is, however, an emotion attached to the desire of having a better career. It could be a sense of accomplishment, or freedom to make other choices, or the status that re-affirms your personal worth…. There is always an undercurrent of emotion to any desire, and when we uncover that emotion, things start to really happen. You own your wings.


You are kindred with the butterfly. Every butterfly MUST struggle to break out of the chrysalis that wraps it so tightly, because the struggle actually, literally, gives the insect the strength to eventually fly free. If, thinking yourself helpful, you were to clip the cocoon from the butterfly, the butterfly would never fly, and would die on the ground. Seriously. And so would you. Imagine if you had never experienced loss. I have lost a child, and although it was the most brutally painful experience of my life, and honestly, was one which I would not have bet on surviving, I have HUGE amounts of strength and wisdom as a result of that struggle to survive. The degree of love I felt as pain from losing my son is untouchable, and is the most responsible for my enlightenment. If, following the death of my father when I was only 18 months old, I had not been raised by a single mother, I would have missed a lot of strength-building exercises that built character and taught me that girls can be strong and competent. Had I never loved and lost, I would not have experienced the importance of true self-love. Had I not found my inner strength to leave a bad marriage, I would not have gone on to learn the gestalt techniques that turned my life around, and empowered me with full-winged self-esteem.

Whatever the outcome you are seeking, gestalt techniques, my guidance, and YOU can get you there.

When you are ready, we can schedule a fifteen minute conversation to determine if we are a good fit. And if not, we’ll part ways, no worse for the wear and tear.

(FREE Downloadable Gestalt Prayer here.)

Gestalt means ‘whole’ and so are you. With a secure self-esteem in place, there is nothing you cannot accomplish.

Self-esteem directly effects:

  • your income level
  • your love life
  • your interpersonal relationships
  • your family interactions
  • your career choices
  • your wealth thermostat
  • your health and wellness
  • your education
  • your personal expansion
  • your experience of being human

Even if you’re not ready to schedule that fifteen minute interview, you may want to start by reading Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation. There are some excerpts of the book available on the Free Pie Page. Or click the book cover below to order from Amazon.


When you are ready to experience your wings, when you are in enough pain that you simply must take action to transform into the beautiful full-winged version of the whole/gestalt you, fill out the form and request your fifteen minute discovery call.

(FREE Downloadable Gestalt Prayer here.)

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…reach deep within, and know your worth, your value, and your power.


Yep. A friendly reminder to keep progressing.

CA7VV5OL cover-flying Blessings in the Mire
Escaping the Chrysalis               The Flying Game              Blessings in the Mire

Shadows Attached: Mad Woman Poetry ~Kindle Edition



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Gestalt literally means whole form. As a therapeutic term, gestalt is intent on the wholeness and balance (homeostasis) of the human organism as nature intended. Regardless of how you see yourself, you are whole and perfect in your humanness.

If gestalt were a party, it would be a come as you are party. Masks would be placed aside. The naked truths of you, stripped of cultural mores and trends, ruffles and feathers would be exposed; the black and the white, the dark and the light would be fully present, and accepted. Warts, farts, wrinkles, zits and all, you would be, we would all be, the proverbial belle of the ball. We would know the additional cliché of unconditional love. The caveat is, the love would stem first and foremost as self-love.

There is a natural cycle of human development that begins always with awareness, specifically with self-awareness. Only when one stops to see, to acknowledge, to dissect the self is one able to determine consciously the path of his or her life as they wish to proceed. It is the same with any goal or destination; that we must have a target at which to aim. When we look inward for our answers and our desires, we are then able to draw a direct line towards them.

direction As any airline pilot knows, there are constant corrections made to keep our craft (in this case, ourselves) on the course in order to reach the chosen destination. We learn and we correct our trajectory via our lessons. We set, and eventually reach the destination of our intent.

What does not happen is the reaching of our goals when there are no defined targets. So it makes logical sense to take a moment each morning before launching into the day, and meditate and intend specific actions. For example: Today I intended to write about the meaning of gestalt. I took a few minutes to think about ways in which to present the concept most simply and most easily grasped. The concept of ‘wholeness’ is simple. It would make little to no sense if I were to pretend that I have a complex idea to present here.

Likewise, human beings are actually quite simple. We may like to think otherwise, but that’s just ego spouting off. The truth is, we are all carbon-based, mostly predictable as we most easily settle into routine and resist change, and we are all in search of the same thing, which is feeling valued.

Where and how we choose to get that emotion filled is the variable to the human condition. Many people look outside themselves for external validation and support. The real power, however, is not outside. Authentic empowerment must always come from within.

True empowerment is in the consciousness of each being.
The power is in recognizing this awareness.

Authentic growth is an off-shoot of secure, healthy self-esteem. With that said, start today to acknowledge something wonderful about YOU. Through expressions of self-love and acceptance, affirm your worth, and begin your personal journey towards wholeness, towards gestalt enlightenment, towards the whole acceptance and blossoming of you, gestalt.

~As always, with love and light.


Amazon: Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation

KINDLE: Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation



Posted in Empowerment, Escaping the Chrysalis, Gestalt, Goal Setting, Self-Esteem, Success and tagged , , , , , , , by with comments disabled.

…and What Does Your Life Look Like?

Life is a Series of Decisions

Whether consciously or otherwise, at every moment of any day, we are making decisions. Even apathy and inaction are choices, decisions made to take no action. Life is the sum of choices we make thru planning and taking action, or by apathy and/or ignorance. Each of us has the opportunity to make the best use of our time, or to allow time to flood by as we wear out the sofa on the sidelines of our own lives. (Scroll to the page bottom or continue reading for a FREE download tool for Goal Setting .)

Which person are you? It’s a decision you can make this second. Choice is organic, changing, expanding, contracting; you can alter your life choices at any time. Your life is a result of the decisions you make, or don’t make. It seems obvious, yet how few realize and then respond accordingly to the limitless potential this information offers?

Life is a decision. It’s a series of decisions.

That statement doesn’t mean I have control over all the events that happen in my life, and on the fringes of my life. It does mean that I always have control over how I respond to any given stimuli. Consciously responding with thoughtful consideration is a higher road choice of empowerment than is over-reacting in a barbaric, non-contemplative knee-jerk reaction.

During the past few months, I have made some rather large life changes. I’m now more committed than ever to consciously control the experience of living. Vows to do things differently, to actually consciously, boldly choose and follow my path have been tested; in some cases, the flight plan has been altered and my wing flaps adjusted to stay my chosen trajectory.

In spite of life occasionally getting in the way of aspirations, it’s rewarding to stay oddly positive about all the events taking place. Simultaneously committing to find the goodness, or at least the valuable lesson in every episode despite how nefarious or taxing is liberating.

When a close friend died, for instance, rather than allow sorrow to derail me, I dug into my psyche in order to unearth the gift in his passing. It sounds impossible, right? Not only is it possible; it is crucial. Yes, I mourned for an appropriate time, but I found a way to use the emotion as fuel for publishing a poetry book that had long festered on a rear burner.

The first time I was instructed to “find the gift” in a particularly painful event, I lashed out against the offensive suggestion. As time passed however, I did discover that every seemingly negative situation, even the death of a loved one, has another side that glitters. Patience and pondering have reinforced the idea, and now regardless of how nefarious, automatically makes any event just a little easier to swallow.

Discipline is Not Drudgery

One of my current commitments is to write each day at least 1000 words. As a result of the discipline required to keep that pledge, I’ve successfully completed a nonfiction manuscript of over 150,000 words. The first hundred thousand words came quite quickly and with relative ease. It is the tedium of editing those words, of choosing only the most valuable and precise sentences, of throwing out my not-so-well written prose that brings the yawns. But I’ve made a commitment to a certain lifestyle, and editing must be done; it’s another life-lesson of balancing the fun with the chores. It builds character; frankly, how few of my friends, relatives and acquaintances have the tenacity and dedication to commit to sit in one place for hours each day and write a book?

The commitment to take the reins of life is liberating, and accomplishing the daily goals is a self-esteem building activity. Without making the choice to take control and to follow thru each day, there is no progress; there are only thoughts that float out-there somewhere in fantasy, never to come to fruition.

I admit that I’m a big picture sort of writer. I love the concepts, get ‘great’ ideas on a continuous basis, and start a LOT of articles and books. I’m decidedly not the sort of person who will count beans, or manicure individual grass strands for a living. The small stuff is important, and I am seriously repelled by the small stuff. Let someone else sweat that manual labor. I’m off writing the big words, honing down the large word counts, and fertilizing the creative concepts that come from meditative moments in warm scented baths. But cultivating the concept of disciplined goal setting and daily self-navigation means I get thru the minutia as well as getting to enjoy the warm scented baths.

Writing book proposals and query letters is instrumental in getting published, and so I consciously make a decision to perfect my shining letters to agents and editors, though I don’t pretend to like it. Not for a second do I consider that I have any innate strength or talent in query writing, although with all the practice, I probably am perfecting the process even as I wince. It’s part of my conscious commitment to take more control of my life that demands I write those queries, send them out to the perfect parties (In bean-counter style, having researched and determined just who those parties might be), as I envision at least one of them actually reading my application, and with excited enthusiasm.

My decision to live consciously has also included growing a thicker skin. I’m collecting ‘rejection letters’ on a regular basis (again) and have gathered them into a rather large volume that sits on my desk. At any time that my ego may attempt to get too big for her britches, I can just pull out the equalizer and cut that ego back down to size. It doesn’t happen often. Life most Earthlings, I wrestle with the balance, the homeostasis, the fodder which provides the substance for the books I write.

I’ve also designed a little book for writing down nice things, complements that others give me about my writing. I write the date, the circumstances, the quote, and the person’s name (if I have managed to get it). This when, where, what and who bolsters me when things get to me. When I’m feeling especially vulnerable, or depressed, or even hopeless, I pull out the collection of positive comments from admiring readers, college professors, and even from elementary school teachers.

“Keep writing. You’re good.”

Many times, I have reread that dog-eared praise as it was scrawled by an English Professor across my first completed manuscript. She was a dear to read it, but the praise was frosting and a cherry on top! I now have it in writing, from a professional, “Keep writing. You’re good.” It’s not an Academy Award. It’s not the Pulitzer Prize, but it’s still enough encouragement to keep my seat in the seat.

Fast forwarding from the time those words were first scrawled, in the spirit of pay-it-forward, I have said those identical words to aspiring writers. Who knows, maybe my name will end up in their little book of complements too for time when their ego needs a little TLC.

Where are your decisions taking you? Whoever you are, and whatever your aspirations, commit to the practice of perfecting. Whatever you do, keep doing it. You’re good at it. ;-)

~With Love and Light,

Jan Deelstra

For a FREE download Goal Setting Form click the picture:

Posted in FREE STUFF, Gestalt, Goal Setting, Health & Wellness, Self-Esteem, Self-Help, Success, Time Management and tagged , , , , , , , , , by with comments disabled.

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the Universe against me.” Emerson

Secure self-esteem is more important than an Ivy League education. This is a debatable concept, certainly, but debate or not, here are my thoughts:

  1. Lacking self-esteem has a correlation to lack of ambition, and ambition is an important element to reaching the any desired target.
  2. Severely lacking in self-confidence leads often to lethargy and even depression, thus it is not congruent with staying on course towards achievement of goals.
  3. A poor self-image opens the doorways to gang involvement as the participant seeks recognition from outside of his/her self.
  4. A poor self-esteem blocks the flow of any ability to manifest greatness, if only due to a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom.
  5. It’s hard to formulate a clear plan towards personal development and fulfillment when one is buried beneath the weight of lacking self-confidence.
  6. No amount of education can compensate for internalized feelings of failure.
  7. External validation is not the solution for building self-esteem; it’s an inside job.

So what is the solution then? Years of experience as a Gestalt Group Facilitator have taught me that pretty much everyone has bouts of self-doubt. Even the most assertive, boisterous fellow may be hiding feelings of inferiority under the loud shoutings and laughter. In fact, the guy/gal with the biggest “look at me” attitude is generally the one needing self-esteem support the most. That guy/gal has not learned that the secure feelings are only found inside, and not outside as from external validation.

Every day, it is important to recharge those self-esteem batteries with a little awareness and a bit of attention to the ‘self’ as each of us has determined we are.

For example, it’s wonderful to re-invent oneself when a particular behavior or thought process is not as effective as we would hope or expect. It’s fantastic to learn a new skill, to risk falling flat succeeding. Being alert and open to new events, and to fresh experiences and adventures, is rewarding whether it works out as we had planned or not. Regardless of outcome, there is always a lesson, a gem, a blessing in the experiencing of anything new.

Willingness to risk trying anything new leads to a layering of self-worth that begins brick by experiential brick, to build a strong foundation of secure self-esteem. The process is a circle of effectiveness that leads to yet other wondrous adventures and resultant lessons and skills. The cycle never ends, with esteem building and building and potential increasing and increasing, perpetually.

~As always, with love and light.

Excerpt from Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation, Chapter One


 Escaping the Chrysalis

~Read about it!


Posted in Confidence, Empowerment, Escaping the Chrysalis, Self-Esteem, Self-Love, The Flying Game and tagged , , , , , , by with comments disabled.

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The following is a story that has been told and retold countless times. And yet, here it is again, as timely as ever:

Noticing a butterfly struggling to break free from the cocoon, a gentleman, thinking himself helpful, snipped at the cocoon with a tiny pair of scissors. Although the butterfly was indeed freed, its tiny wings were shriveled, and its body was swollen making it improbable that the butterfly would ever take flight. As this condensed version turns out, the insect spent the remainder of its days crawling, never having gained the strength necessary in order to take flight.

Nature’s plan was, as the butterfly squeezed through the tight cocoon opening, the fluids would be forced from the torso into the wings. Once freed, the butterfly could have easily flown.

Nature knew better than did the kindly gentleman.

This parable is two-sided, as is true with much in life:

1. Although Nature gives us perfect lessons, this doesn’t mean you must continuously be squeezed through the hole. Nature never intended you would create a habit from dysfunction, or that you’d develop an addiction to stress hormones and drama.

2. Nature gave us struggles to create strong characteristics, because to never have any struggles would be crippling. Learn lessons of independence, and inter-dependence and let go of passivity or co-dependence.

So the moral to the story is stop whining, squeeze through, embrace the lesson, flap your wings, and fly free.

Excerpt from The Flying Game by Jan Deelstra.

Excerpt from Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques For Self-Esteem Transformation by J. Deelstra.

cover-flying  CA7VV5OL

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Sweet Dreams Are Made of These:

You might have heard of a little film called, “The Secret”
that was first released back in March 2006.

You might even have bought the book that was based on the film.

You fell in love with the very concept of having the ability
to turn your dreams into reality, simply by tapping into The Secret.

  • You’ve thought good thoughts.
  • You’ve adopted a positive attitude.
  • You’ve channeled all your positive energy into manifesting.
  • You believe in your heart of hearts that you deserve great things.
  • You’re trying to will into existence.
  • You think the universe should serve you abundance on a silver platter.

I don’t mean to be harsh…but why aren’t you living the life of your dreams yet?

Learn why over here…

Critical details were deliberately left out in The Secret; exact steps and techniques that are required to make it work.

But chin up! I have, together with other experts like Jack Canfield,  Carol Look, Eva Gregory, and many others, discovered the real secret. And I’m sharing this missing link with you!

You’ll learn:

  • The best 6 ways to activate and supercharge the law of attraction to work for you.
  • How to eradicate limiting beliefs from your mind completely with 1 simple formula.
  • How 95% of the world’s population have been brainwashed into poverty.
  • How you can reprogram yourself to receive abundant wealth.
  • And a whole lot more!

Click this link and start living the life of your dreams:

Warmest Regards and Loving Gratitude,

Posted in Affiliate Information, Manifesting, Money Mondays, Wealth Builiding and tagged , , , , , , , , by with comments disabled.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

…so what have you done?

Today is the birthday of my deceased brother. He died in 1977, his life cut short by “unknown, natural causes.” He was 22. Autopsy results showed a “strong heart, clean lungs, no blood clots, no aneurysms, no drugs, no alcohol,” in short, no reason. He simply died in his sleep.

We were best friends, Tom and I. We were two years and two days apart in our births, and so we shared our birthday each year. It was wonderful. As children, we had someone to play with, and to confide in when we grew older. But we didn’t grow much older together. And truthfully, I still miss him on “our” birthday. And I can’t help but wonder who he would be, had he lived more than those two short decades. What would he have done with his life?

Tom’s death was the beginning of my search for spiritual sense. Afterall, without a just cause for his death, how could I possibly believe in God, or Source, or in any label one chooses to adhere to a version of Higher Power. And if there indeed was a God, how and why would he/she take my brother for “no reason”?

All these years later, I have such perfect sight to see what went before. It is my gift of his death, to have found my path to life. Without the brutal realization of mortality, it is doubtful I would have ever begun that journey inward, to that place inside that is so decidedly beyond “the safe harbor.” And so I take only a moment to share my appreciation for the greatest gift that Tom left me: The strength to “catch the trade winds,” and to travel deep inside, and to unquestionably question everything. That’s where the answers lie.

“Explore. Dream. Discover.” Seems like a perfect mantra for life.

Blessings in the Mire

(Clicking the cover takes you out of this site and into


Posted in Empowerment, Self-Esteem and tagged , , , , , by with comments disabled.

cover flying

There is a bit of Stella Harris in all of us. Seemingly out of nowhere comes a hand that, at first thru fifth glance reveals no winning cards. Our subjective realities are altered then and there; everything changes.

Kelly Clarkson’s lyrics “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” play in my head, telling me that others too, have experienced events that required drawing on more inner strength than we knew we had.

Thus is the transformational current of The Flying Game. It’s a fictional self-help book with a secret nod to The Wizard of Oz as the inner wisdom that ultimate saves all of us from those blessed “learning experiences,” arguably random or destined occurrences that on the surface are too much to bear. But bear we must, and from such perseverance human character is undeniably forged and personality more deeply colored.

As a celebration of the irrepressible human spirit TODAY ONLY, I am slashing the price of The Flying Game from $19.99 to $11.21! This is ONLY true if the books are purchased thru the publisher’s PayPal account and not from Amazon. There are only 25 copies available at this price. When they are gone, they are gone. That’s it. And one way or another, the deal is over, kaput, at midnight Pacific Standard Time or when 25 copies are sold, which ever comes first.

Because there are only 25 copies, and because the publisher is betting more than 25 readers will want a copy at this LOW price, there is a special form that must be submitted and in the case that more than 25 apply, the decision will be made lottery style. In other words, only the first 25 forms will be accepted and all others will be sent a “sorry you missed out” email response. Those first 25 lucky readers will receive a special link with further instructions.

Good luck!

To order your copy of The Flying Game at the today only price of $11.21 fill out and submit this form:

Posted in Empowerment, Gestalt, Manifesting, Self-Esteem, Self-Help and tagged , , , , , , , by with comments disabled.

Your subconscious mind has a gate keeper. This is a survival means that keeps out a lot of bad stuff. Unfortunately, over time, this gate keeper gets more and more strict about what gets inside. It’s fine for a toddler to absorb information with the speed of Niagra Falls, but it’s another for an adult to be open to all the environmental factors that surround us.
It’s this gatekeeper that allows for children to learn language, and that same keeper makes it a bit more difficult for adults to learn a new language.

Stella Harris of The Flying Game, found a way to bypass her gatekeeper. Now you can too! Imagine being able to allow in a fresh perspective of who you are at a subconscious level. Imagine being able to free yourself from the pains of the past and move into your truest power.

One of my absolutely most favorited self-help promoters, Dr. Robert Anthony (The Secret of Deliberate Creation is a set of CDs I still listen too) has generously offered a FREE audio that YOU can immediately download. That’s my Money Monday gift to you today. My friend, Dr. Robert Anthony, has created a free audio for you that reveals how to silence your Inner Gatekeeper and change your inner blueprint once and for all! And best of all: This breakthrough audio really is free! Go listen to it now…

To read about the incomparable Stella Harris (Stella always won the Flying Game) click the book cover below:



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Mother Trucker

Mother Trucker without Hardhat


Throw Back Thursdays: Me on the day, having completed the necessary hours and experience, I received my “A” Status Teamsters Driving Status.

#ProudMotherTrucker #TeamstersUnion #local222 #empowerment

Mother Trucker with hardhat

I only wish the photographs had been in color. The PINK hard-hat and matching fingernails were a rare visual at a time when Teamsters Unions were known as “traditional male” employers. But as a single mother of three children under the age of four, I would have done just about anything to feed my kids, and driving ~even the BIG RIGS, is something I enjoy. By the way, this is NOT the largest piece of Caterpillar equipment I ever drove, but it was the one I drove most often.

The lessons of empowerment would be ridiculously long to list here, but in the abbreviated edition, I’ll share that I learned as much from jealous wives and girlfriends as I learned about operating equipment. I expected a certain level of, shall we say, “adjustment” from the men in the field, but I did not anticipate the ways in which my sister-humans reacted to my presence in this traditionally men’s arena. It’s that look of smelling poop on a shoe that comes to mind when I envision the faces of the women who showed up to see this female truck driver.

There are enough stories to fill several volumes, and I see that we women have come a long way, and we still have a long way to travel to meet each other with support and love and collaboration, and not with competition. Afterall, I wasn’t there to steal a husband. I was there to feed my kids. And let’s be honest: Does this look like a glamorous job to you? There are no doors on that rig, and this is in Utah where the Winters and Summers are equally blistering in extreme conditions. It was brutal.

There is not one regret I have as a result of working an average of 72 hour weeks, except that of spending far too much time away from my children. Hopefully, they learned the value of owning their power. I sure did. And the lessons of empowerment are heavily woven through the Gestalt Self-Awareness and Self-Esteem courses I facilitate today. Without the self-esteem needed to stand up for myself, and for other women who would come after me, I would have faltered before the Teamsters’ Union even agreed to train me. The tenacity of a mother bull-dog with pups to feed is what it took. And if you’re in tune with your passion and just need a boost and a helping hand to facilitate your empowerment, and to bolster your self-esteem and resultant tenacity and success, I am the facilitator for you.

At the bottom of the right side of the page is an annoying little pop up that begs your attention. Feed it your information, and let’s schedule a FREE 15 minute session. You’ve nothing to lose by making the call. And you have EVERYTHING to gain.

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“All our progress is an unfolding, like a vegetable bud.

You have first an instinct, then an opinion, then a knowledge as the plant has root, bud, and fruit.

Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

n1303710495_5110It’s a hard life today. Had he lived, he would be forty. He lived to 21.

Suicide: It coats the tongue like rancid lard and heavy sand; makes it hard to swallow. Harder to think.

Suicide. It has the sound of pest control, but it is so different when I feel the word in my heart. It lacks color when I see it in my mind’s eye. Suicide. Grey. Dim. Dull.

Never believe there is no energy attached to words. The energetic charge of suicide is palpable. It causes other to back away as if it will get on them if they linger too long. Suicide: It separates the friends from the acquaintances. It’s a word laced with a thick cord of fear. It causes others to judge.

I was one of those judges, prior, of course, until the karmic slap woke me to the vast truth; caused me to re-evaluate and re-calibrate, and most certainly, to explore where the word led.


And then:

What ifs blossomed like popcorn popping on an apricot tree. Insane. Surreal. What if I had been there? What if I had known…? What if?

What ifs are a dreadful waste of time and effort. What is, is all we have. There’s a testament of staying present in suicide, and in what is.

The journey led inward: The search for sense from senselessness. My curious mind had to know what lays beneath, before, behind the curtain of social mores and judgements and culpability. And it led to HELL. A deep pool within, deeper than the layer of sanity protects us from the sheer craziness that could be. Led to a pool where the dead stir putrid swirls ~ripples radiate, seep out into daylight. And although it’s a cold, dead place, it burns with reality. Dead. Your child is dead. And no religion, no spirituality, no prayers, no magic cures can change this brutally heart-ripping awareness.

Life went on. Shoppers shopped at Walmart. People kept eating. They went to movies, and fell in love and laughed. And my universe was not aligned with the laughter. Not for many months would I hear the foreign sound of laughter escape my mouth.

But it came. My purpose unfolded with the inner journey that brought me into the mire and back out to the light. Like a tight bud opening to the light, but not until the bulb had been in the dark for the necessary time, I opened to the experience….

I heard the laugh. I looked around when I first heard it. Like a stranger on-looking, I heard the laugh come out and it was clear that it had been too long that laugh had been squelched.

Suicide. It was not the end, but was the beginning of my journey inward to the authenticity of me. And this is really hard to convey, but I learned long ago that there is a gift in every episode of life, even in the nefarious. And so, I look back and see the jewel: I wrote a book (my first, not last) that purged my insides out and today heals others; I started a non-profit for suicide awareness; I enlightened masses; I saved some lives along the way and healed some broken hearts; I learned valuable lessons of non-judgment and survival. And the greatest gem of all, is that of love. There is no deeper love than that from a mother to her child, and to lose a child reveals a love deeper than imaginable, unless you’re a member of the club. I pray you never are. And yet, to be deprived of this unfolding of purpose and calling would be worse, I sense, than death.

Our subjective purpose transcends time, matter, and perhaps, even reason. And yet, our purpose is like a secret treasure that we excavate and reveal over time. Everything, every event, every one has a place in the universal flow. Even the gritty lard that coats my tongue.

Blessings in the Mire



Posted in Blessings in the Mire, Books By Jan Deelstra, Self-Esteem and tagged , , , , , by with no comments yet.