Confidence Tip #2: Kicking Buts & Taking Names….

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To “own” your confidence and your personal power, you will likely need to kick some of those limiting “buts” from your repertoire of habitual actions.

Here’s the truth: Whenever we utter the word, “but” it negates what came prior. As example, if you hear yourself say, “I would achieve my goal but…the “but” pulls all the truth from the beginning of the statement. You may as well affirm “I won’t achieve my goal.” The effect is the same. If you want to feel empowered, try saying this instead: “I would achieve my goal AND….” Feel the difference. “But” victimizes. “And” expands.

Ask yourself, if you are a dreamer, a doer, or both? Is your head in the clouds, full of ideas, or are you able to plant your feet on the ground and take action? Are you a nice blend of ideas and grounding?

Confident people let their imagination soar with possibilities and then have the courage to take action to achieve whatever they set their sights on.

Conversely, if you find yourself dreaming big but acting small, you might need to kick some of the “buts” that hold you back. The first step is to recognize the “buts” before they come out of your thoughts and words. It cannot be changed if it cannot be seen.

Test yourself on this by thinking of a dream, whether large or small. As you consider this dream, do you notice that you have any “buts” holding you back? As example:

  • “But I don’t have enough time…”
  • “But there’s not enough money…”
  • “But I need more education….”

Here’s a confident approach:

  • Examine the “buts” to see if they are really true – or if they are just excuses that you use to keep you playing small. If so, are you ready to expand?
  • Turn your “buts” into truths by owning them and re-wording them into positives. As example: I used to use “buts” to keep me small, AND now, I choose to live large!

Consider creating your own self-affirming mantra, or using any of these:

  • I have as much time as anyone in the world AND I choose how to spend it wisely each and every day.
  • I make smart decisions around money and time so I can achieve my dreams.
  • I can have all the education and certifications I want and feel like I need.
  • I am willing to take any necessary steps to reach my goals as long as I hurt no one, including myself, in the process.
  • I start by taking a first step everyday because even the smallest steps lead to the attainment of the big goals.

Do you want to find a better job, or quit smoking, or learn to skydive, or build a house? Regardless of how “far-fetched” your dream is, realize the barriers are only stories you have created that stop you from stepping into your limitless potential. The stories are the “buts” that you can, if you choose to, re-craft into fuel to help propel you to your mindfully chosen destination.

Now that you realize that a tiny little word may have such control over your success, don’t let your “buts” hold you back! Kick your buts by honestly acknowledging them, addressing them –including finding appreciation* for what the “buts” gave you, by developing an inspired action plan, and then by following that action plan.

*Here’s a little pearl for your self-awareness toolkit: If you were not receiving a benefit from holding on to the “buts” you would have released the excuse long ago. When you can identify what, precisely, you get from the “but,” you can express gratitude and let it go. As example, perhaps you get a sense of safety, an excuse for not being seen, or some sort of veil from the human race. Whatever ‘it’ is, once you can honestly see the benefits, and then express gratitude, and then release the excuse that is no longer viable, you will be free to transform and free up the energy for greatness.

Are you ready to release your “would but”? Schedule a Breakthrough Session

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Finally, as you go about the business of identifying and transforming “buts” take note of how successful others have gotten out of their own way. Spend time with high-minded others, and allow those who live small in the shadows of “buts” to self-filter from your circle of associates.


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