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How Story-Telling is Making it Worse


We all have our stories, some kinder, some harsher, some so painful that others weep to hear…. Some people spend decades in the therapeutic “chair” and tell their stories over and over again. And some people identify so deeply with a particular story, that it becomes their identity. In other words, without that story, they wouldn’t recognize who they are. It’s that big a slice of how they perceive themselves.

But do you know that every time you share your story, you are reinforcing the vibrational effects? That’s great if the story is uplifting, is something you wish to re-experience.

The sad truth is that too many people spend their lives perseverating on negative thoughts, ruminating on what could have been, or entertaining their minds with thoughts of what was not. These same folks seek others, usually non-consciously, for commiserating. And much water-cooler conversation and bar stool talk is of emotional scar comparisons. Scars are worn as medals, and brought out proudly to be displayed.

In worst case scenarios, the histories are repeated so often that they become deep grooves in the psyche, and when these stories are dark, they can lead to self-abusive behaviors, addictions, and even to suicide. The brain is conditioned to create efficient neural networks to support the patterns that it identifies, such as repetitive thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. The Reticular Activating System of the brain is a neural network that’s reinforced by the repetitive talk, and inner dialog. It’s a system that identifies patterns and seeks to replicate. That means, in law of attraction terms, focusing on the story attracts more of the same. Again, this is great if your focus is on the positive.

So what do you do with the self-sabotaging thoughts that seem to be on automatic repeat cycle? A big clue is, you can’t drown them in alcohol or bury them with drugs. They’re like last week’s beans left on the back burner to rot. Those thoughts and emotions will fester and bubble up if not tended to. But here’s another big secret: The stories cannot hurt you again. They are not really happening. They don’t exist anywhere except in the past. The stories can be looked at and released. And as long as you don’t pick it back up again, your shift is intact.

Maybe that sounds too simple. And it is. Your habit or you addiction to the story can be broken, which is really to say, it can be fixed. And now that those words are out, listen closely here: YOU are NOT broken. And these stories, regardless of how long you’ve been repeating, honing, polishing, embellishing, or neglecting, can be re-written to create that important mindset shift. Start by becoming an observer to yourself. As you perfect self-awareness, you imbue permanent positive transformation into your life. Consciously create the story to support you. Let those other sleeping dogs lie….

Need help releasing that story?

Escaping the Chrysalis and Escaping the Chrysalis Companion Workbook are now available in the “instant gratification” version as a digital download set for only $47 thru the secure PayPal link.




Escaping the Chrysalis is the life manual we wish our parents had read! It’s the set you will dog ear and return to for the remainder of your life. For all life’s challenges, Escaping the Chrysalis has the tools and techniques to empower your life.

And the full-color Escaping the Chrysalis Companion Workbook includes the proprietary tools used in my one-on-one and group coaching.

Prefer the physical versions?
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Escaping the Chrysalis on Amazon
Escaping the Chrysalis Companion Workbook on Amazon

Escaping the Chrysalis by Jan Deelstra

And by the way, that naked model on the front cover is Lady Liberty, the model for the Statue of Liberty. I couldn’t imagine a better way to depict the liberation you’ll get from this dynamic duo.

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