At this exact second, which is gone by the time I write it and most certainly by the time you read it, I am struggling with the concept of “surrender.”
The Serenity Prayer, comes to mind in that one slim part that says, “the wisdom to know the difference.” How do we know when it’s time to surrender? How do we reach that “wisdom to know the difference”?
It’s been an especially rough weekend. There was the website work that went deep into the early Sunday hours; then on Sunday, there was the complete crash of all that had stolen my sleep the night before.
No one likes to start over. It seems like a waste of time, emotions, and energy; not in any particular order. There’s more to the story, of course. There is always more to days when the drape of despair hangs like a prickly filthy rug in a junkyard setting. It’s out of place. It doesn’t belong here, it’s not mine.
And yet, here it is.
Being one to search for deeper meaning, even in times when a “cigar is just a cigar,” I am spending this hour debating the sense in even having a website or a blog. Are blogs even relevant these days? Or is everyone getting their fill on social media platforms?
Either way, it isn’t really an important question in that,Â I write because I am compelled, if not obsessed by writing, and not because I necessarily think anyone will read it, or comment. I write because it is who I am. When I write that last sentence out loud in my head, it sounds pretty selfish.
But then, I am consistently advising my clients to redefine “selfish,” and do what’s in her best interest….
If I take my own advice -walk the talk, as it’s said, I will not surrender. Not today. Although with a chuckle of irony I’ll share that sitting in front of me on the coffee table (I’m not at home, but rather I’m house/cat sitting elsewhere) is a small book with a bright red cover. It says, “Today is the Day.” Not sure if that means it’s the day to quit. Or, when I flip it over to the backside, if it means “a cigar is only a cigar.”