The Importance of a Secure Self-Esteem

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the Universe against me.” Emerson

Secure self-esteem is more important than an Ivy League education. This is a debatable concept, certainly, but debate or not, here are my thoughts:

  1. Lacking self-esteem has a correlation to lack of ambition, and ambition is an important element to reaching the any desired target.
  2. Severely lacking in self-confidence leads often to lethargy and even depression, thus it is not congruent with staying on course towards achievement of goals.
  3. A poor self-image opens the doorways to gang involvement as the participant seeks recognition from outside of his/her self.
  4. A poor self-esteem blocks the flow of any ability to manifest greatness, if only due to a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom.
  5. It’s hard to formulate a clear plan towards personal development and fulfillment when one is buried beneath the weight of lacking self-confidence.
  6. No amount of education can compensate for internalized feelings of failure.
  7. External validation is not the solution for building self-esteem; it’s an inside job.

So what is the solution then? Years of experience as a Gestalt Group Facilitator have taught me that pretty much everyone has bouts of self-doubt. Even the most assertive, boisterous fellow may be hiding feelings of inferiority under the loud shoutings and laughter. In fact, the guy/gal with the biggest “look at me” attitude is generally the one needing self-esteem support the most. That guy/gal has not learned that the secure feelings are only found inside, and not outside as from external validation.

Every day, it is important to recharge those self-esteem batteries with a little awareness and a bit of attention to the ‘self’ as each of us has determined we are.

For example, it’s wonderful to re-invent oneself when a particular behavior or thought process is not as effective as we would hope or expect. It’s fantastic to learn a new skill, to risk falling flat succeeding. Being alert and open to new events, and to fresh experiences and adventures, is rewarding whether it works out as we had planned or not. Regardless of outcome, there is always a lesson, a gem, a blessing in the experiencing of anything new.

Willingness to risk trying anything new leads to a layering of self-worth that begins brick by experiential brick, to build a strong foundation of secure self-esteem. The process is a circle of effectiveness that leads to yet other wondrous adventures and resultant lessons and skills. The cycle never ends, with esteem building and building and potential increasing and increasing, perpetually.

~As always, with love and light.

Excerpt from Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation, Chapter One

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 Escaping the Chrysalis

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