Blog PostsConfidenceTransformation ToolboxWomen's Empowerment

“The most terrifying thing…” …the Mirror Exercise


“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

Carl Jung

This statement by Carl Jung contains the essence of why I am here, promoting self-esteem and gestalt techniques as the way to fulfillment. Too few humans take the journey inward, into the vastness of who we are subjectively.

Recently there has been talk among Louise Hay’s circle about the mirror exercise that is included in the Self-Love Toolkit that all clients receive when working with me. Whether in the form of the Escaping the Chrysalis Companion Workbook for home study, or in the online course work, and most definitely at live events, all clients eventually learn to look in the mirror, and get very clear about what they see.

My core tenet that underscores everything in my coaching practice and my life is that

[bctt tweet=”You have one purpose, and that is to learn to love every facet of who you are.” via=”no”]

Regardless of where the experience takes place, at a live event, or in the comfort of one’s own home during a virtual VIP session, this “mirror day,” is the day that clients’ transformations are observable. It’s a tough day, emotionally speaking, because it is an authentic day. There is no bull as each woman makes peace with the “self.” And the face changes. The posture changes. The woman changes. It’s still, after 30 years of being with the diverse demographics, intriguing and beautiful. Wings seem to emerge as the stress drops away from the facial features. Once the experience is complete, the woman is not the same woman who first walked through that inner doorway. She is transformed.

[bctt tweet=”What is the initial fear of this journey within?” via=”no”]

I’ve witnessed group participants run, screaming, escaping from the room with the mirror. Literally. Rather than look in the mirror and address the reflection looking back, the fear took over and the feet took flight. Unless one has done something so bloody horrific as to never again look in the mirror, I see no reason to run. And as near as I can tell, all shame is forgivable, so there is never a good reason to run from the self. The power lies within. There is no way to be the best version of the self until the fear is addressed and the spirit takes the helm. Period.

As an interesting observation, after thirty years of facilitating change, I see a pattern in that often, those who are by societal standards the most aesthetically pleasing, are frequently the most fearful of looking inside. The fear is that the flesh ages and wrinkles, and what is left? Some see only the shell, not recognizing that there is more inside than that social facade ~the face that we put on for company. Some participants are not able to see at all, are blinded by shame and fear of seeing the ‘self’ as it is. It’s refreshing when a woman sees her whole self clearly, and without her inner critic running the show. When she really sees –her potential, her strength, her tenacity, her unique beauty and competence –that is empowerment. That’s the embodiment of feminine power.


Gestalt means whole. And each one of us is whole and perfect in our humanness. Once the layers of doubt, self-worth, and even self-loathing are peeled away, what is left is the pearl. That pearl is the soul. The perfectly balanced whole/gestalt that holds no fear, or if it feels fear, it faces that fear and transmutes it into power to propel the self forward into a magnificent experience of being.

If you are ready, go to the bathroom mirror, close the door, and do this when you will not be disturbed. Make eye contact with you. Notice your body as you look towards the reflection.

  • What are you feeling?
  • What are your eyes doing?
  • Are you using your eyes as ‘deflectors’ to deflect your reflection?
  • Are your palms dry or sweaty?
  • What is your breath doing? Is it shallow or even?
  • Is your heart beat more rapid or normal?
  • Notice your shoulders. Are they tense or relaxed?
  • How’s your posture? Are you standing up straight and proud or hunched?
  • Notice any stress in your body.
  • Keep looking. Just notice, without judgement.

Self-awareness and empowerment starts with the mirror. Be brave. Continue to look into your eyes. What do you see? Can you see your perfect soul? Keep looking. Hold your gaze. Can you send love without cringing or giggling or diverting your eye contact? Can you see how wonderful you are? What do you feel? What inner messages are surfacing? What are you telling you with that inner critic? What is your physical body telling you?

Send love and acceptance to you. All of you. Love your laugh lines, your stress lines of experience, your love handles. Love it all. Love YOU. Tell you that you accept you. Say I forgive you. Say I love you.

Breathe in the love….

Exhale the self-doubt.

Keep looking. Let go of all those old worn out messages that say it’s vain to look in the mirror. It’s not vain. It’s empowering. And it’s time to experience your power. It’s time to peel back the layers and own your unique perfection. It’s time to stand in your wholeness.

Gestalt means whole and so are you.

Feel that statement: Gestalt means whole and so are you. ~You are perfect in your whole/gestalt balanced self. There is a God/Goddess within. Go there now, and meet your Spirit. Own your wholeness.

[bctt tweet=”Regardless of your past, you are worthy and deserving of a life fulfilled.” via=”no”]

Make the conscious choice to practice more self-care. Nurture your body as you would a young child. Be tender and accepting and patient and loving. You deserve love. It begins with self-love.

Love you. And others will too.

Jan Signature
Escaping the Chrysalis Duo

↑Buy the empowering experiential toolkit set by clicking the secure PayPal button. Change your life for under $100. Seriously.Namaste. ♥ 

What's your take? Comment here:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.